Explore the Infinite

"Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." ~Brene Brown~

Good Evening dear ones. When we hear talk of darkness it can be mistaken for bad or evil. Over the years I have learned that this is not the case. I spent a long time in the darkness of my mind and I am still working on trying to find my way out. What I have learned is that in that darkness I had to face parts of my life that I had thought I'd moved past.

Throughout my first marriage I had some major self-esteem issues and it took me far too long to see I needed to get out of it. One day I finally realized that there was no love on either side and divorce was inevitable. After my divorce I took a couple of years to pull myself together and focus on myself and my kids. I dated a few times after that but after a couple of bad endings I gave up. I fell into some of my darkest years, thinking I was only good for one thing and then good for nothing. I only left my house to go to work, run errands, or visit with my mom. I found myself just going through the motions of every day life and not wanting to do much more than that. I convinced myself I was broken, and numb, and it was only the thought of my kids needing me that kept me afloat.

Then I started my journey inward. I had read books about doing inner work and I thought it was time to put that knowledge to the test. I peered into the darkness ahead of me, unsure about facing the demons I knew where there and then slowly made my way forward. I did one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, I climbed out of the hole I dug myself to face the one person I was most scared of... Me. In facing myself and my thoughts about myself, I have shed many tears. It took a long time for me to finally realize my worth and that I deserved love, most of all from myself. Admittedly, I still struggle with it but I am able to come back it quicker these days.

This path has led me to the most amazing chapter of my life yet. I have met my life partner and he has brought so much joy to life and the lives of my boys. I am looking forward to sharing the rest of my journey with him.

My loves I know how hard life can get but I also know that life is very much worth living. The light and dark can work together in a delicate balance to keep us in check. Accepting that life isn't always going to be rosy, nor is it always going to be awful will help you get through some of those tough times, while also appreciating the good. Be good to yourselves and each other. Be Kind, Be Peace, and Be Love. Never let a day go by without telling those you love how you feel. Yesterday is past and tomorrow isn't promised. Live and Love for today. ~Live ~ Laugh ~ Love ~ Namaste