What’s Your Story?

“We all have a story. The difference is: Do you use the story to empower yourself? Or do you use your story to keep yourself a victim? The question itself empowers you to change your life.” ~Sunny Dawn Johnston~

Good evening dear ones. Do you ever sit and think about your life and how it has played out over the years? Do you wonder how you got to where you are today? Did your life turn out exactly how you thought it would? I know for me, the answer to the first 2 questions is yes, but the last one is a resounding no. Throughout my life I have had many things that didn’t go quite as I would have hoped. I have had many twists and turns that had me wondering what else could go wrong, but I have had plenty of things that have also gone very right.

When I got married the first time I was only 18. I thought I knew what I wanted and I thought he was it. A few years in I realized how wrong I was, but I didn’t have courage to admit it to myself. I was worried about losing my boys and not being able to make it on my own. Finally, it just got to be too much and thankfully it was a relatively amicable split. I struggled a lot over the next several years to find the pieces of myself that disappeared during my almost 10 year marriage. Even though I wasn’t officially diagnosed, I don’t doubt that I battled with depression. I tried to date a few times but when those relationships ultimately failed, I felt like I was the problem and gave up trying. I took a ten year hiatus from relationships and worked on myself.

While trying to work on me, I was trying to take care of damage control for when my boys would visit their dad. My oldest was diagnosed with Autism, struggled in school, and fought with his own demons. This never seemed to mesh well with those visits and he would act out before he had to go, and the first few days after he got back. I tried to be strong for both of my kids, but it wasn’t easy. Ultimately, I made it through to the other side. My life has certainly taken a turn upwards. It began to shift after I started accepting where I was at and that I needed to be willing to make changes in my world view before my world would change. And change it did. I have found and am now happily married to the love my life and we are working to make sure our family has a better life going forward.

My loves, as I look back at my life I know that there are things I could have done differently. I also know that I let myself be the victim in so many ways. When I stopped doing that, everything shifted. It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen. There may be times I go back to that mentality, but it is easier to recogize and correct. Life doesn’t always go the way we expect it to and it isn’t always easy to roll with the punches it throws at us. However, being able to shift our perspective can empower us to change the ending of not just the chapter we are on, but the story all together.

Take care of yourselves dear ones, and each other. Let’s be kind to one another and remember that we are struggling with something that we don’t talk about. Yesterday is past and tomorrow isn’t promised. Never let a day go by without letting your loved ones know how you feel. - Live - Laugh - Love - Namaste